Posts Tagged ‘love and respect’

It goes without saying that men and women are complex and completely different individuals when it comes to their wants and needs in this life. While some may often share the same goals or ideas, there is a certain emotional and mental level that must be reached for one to feel completely satisfied and appreciated.

One problem for couples is that they often have trouble communicating. Although they are committed to each other for life, it is sometimes difficult to know every want and need of your partner. Thankfully, renowned couple’s therapist and Christian pastor Emerson Eggerichs has put together a great book that describes one key thing that men and women need to feel complete in their marriage.

In Love and Respect, Eggerichs reveals that in relationships, men often need to feel respected while women need to feel loved. While this may seem like common sense to some, it is actually a common problem that develops in many marriages.

According to Eggerichs, couples will often go through cycles in their marriages. One of these cycles is the Crazy Cycle. During this time, all of life’s burdens begin to pile on a marriage and communication often breaks down.

To combat this, Eggerichs urges couples to work towards the Energizing Cycle. This is a period in which each spouse tries to accommodate the needs of the other in an effort to restore the broken connection.

In Eggerichs’ view, women need closeness, openness, understanding, peacemaking, loyalty and esteem, or COUPLES. In contrast, men often need CHAIRS, which stands for conquest, hierarchy, authority, insight, relationship and sexuality.

If each of these needs is met, then couples can move into the Reward Cycle. During this time, a couple feels refreshed and they are usually happier and more content with their spouse.

However, these are just a few of the steps that are needed to taken to ensure a solid and complete marriage. Certainly, your marriage will never be perfect, but this book can be a great benefit in the effort to strengthening your marriage.

If you are in need of a marital boost, pick up Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. This book will show you how you can fulfill the needs of  your spouse and how to make your marriage work on a deeper level.


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